I want to kiss you.
Like big, fat kisses. Or angels, or stars.
Or something, I don’t know.
Love poems never make sense to me.
Poets say things like, “Your teeth are flowers.”
or, “Your eyes are miracles.” But you
aren’t miracles. Or flowers.
You are some sweet girl with a pretty smile
and a shaky heart. Come kiss me.
I’m inlove with the miracle of your body, beside my body.
Elisabeth didn’t want to abandon the girl, she only did what she had to, because it just couldn’t be. It was the right kind of love in a wrong time. Elisabeth had left the school 3 years before, back when Manuela was 14 years old, back when they were presumed by the whole student body, as love birds. Elisabeth had to get away, to leave Manuela, her job, her life in Potsdam.
At the back of her mind, Manuela was all she could think about. The girl should live a normal high school life. She will succeed without me. Elisabeth would say.
Manuela has matured over the years. No more the naive little girl she was once. She is now 16, and will be graduating…without EvB.
She wondered where fraulein von Bernburg was, what she was doing with her life, if she was happy…if she had a lady love. Manuela cringes, and brushes of the idea. She looks at the photograph on her hand, what seems to be, her and her teacher. In the photo, Elisabeth has her arm over Manuela’s shoulder. The young girl was smiling with all her teeth out, and same as EvB ever was, with her subtle, yet pretty grin. Manuela places the photograph back under her pillow.
She stood up from her bed, heads towards the big windows at the end of the dorm room. It was a warm day. Leaves were falling from the tall trees, as the breeze blew them away in some sort of a dance. She stares at sepia skies, and wondered if EvB was thinking about her at that moment too.
The entrance door opens suddenly, laughter and singing came along with it. Manuela turns her head over her shoulder to see Edalgard by the door.
Manuela, hurry! Its about to start. You don’t want frau Uberin to scold you again.
Manuela,chuckles. Of course, I’m going now.
It was time for graduation.
Manuela heads out towards the door, but before she closes the door behind her, she stares at the empty dormitory, (insert melancholic song here. Listen to this: Yiruma- Kiss The Rain)
Manuela stares on. She remembers the first night she spent in the dorm. She was with Edelgard. Tears were on her eyes, as her friend comforted her. EvB was at the door. She approached the girls, and told her one of the most important things she’ll never forget, To always…be happy.
For 3 years, that’s exactly what Manuela had been doing. Even if EvB wasn’t there anymore, deep down she didn’t need reminding from her. She thought of, perhaps somewhere, EvB would be happy to know that she’s doing well.
Manuela, smiles at the thought. Then her mind brings her back when EvB kissed her good night on the lips. How could she not forget that? EvB had showed her a part of who she really is. She showed Manuela, that she likes her in a different way.
That one kiss, opened doors to EvB’s heart, a chance to get closer to her, and it was Fraulein von bernburg who conceded it in the first place.
She thought, if it’s not meant to be, then maybe, it’s not meant to be..for now. If she were older, will EvB embrace and take all of who she is? Will they run away together, and live their happily ever after’s?
A childish idea, she thought, but she cannot deny her heart that, it’s exactly what she wants to happen.
Just her, and Elisabeth. No more a student, no more of the teacher title.
She wonders if EvB had thoughts about that.
She sighs, and bites her lower lip.
Manuela takes a last look, and finally closes the door behind her.
Far from the convent school, far from Potsdam, lives a pretty, young lady with dark ear length brunette locks. This woman resides high above a mountain,across a sea in a big spanish oriental house.
The slim figured woman is seen standing on a balcony surrounded by white and yellow roses. A breath taking view of the ocean is infront of her. She looks ahead, feeling the breeze blow on her hair.
"Elisabeth" A frail looking woman calls out on her.
Elisabeth’s piercing dark blue eyes directed her attention towards the call.
"Are you okay?" The woman asked Elisabeth.
"Yes. I’m fine." Elisabeth responds.
"Okay then. Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes. We’re happy to have you back home, sister."
Elisabeth simply smiles back, and the woman leaves her to herself again.
Elisabeth takes her seat at the grand piano inside the room. She pauses at first, then presses a key on the piano, then a another one, which leads to more. It played a tune to a song entitled, so nimm denn meine hande. It was the song always played in St. Agusta’s.
She plays happily, until the thought of the girl she fell in love with came to mind. She stops playing, and a tear fell on her hand on the piano.
"Manuela." Elisabeth spoke softly.
Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to,
doesn’t mean they don’t love you, with everything they have.
Ilse Heim-Winter (Marga von Rasso)
Was born in 1912 to the Jewish couple Marie (née Eisenberg) and Felix Winter in Berlin. The family lived at 8 Landhausstrasse in Berlin-Wilmersdorf. Felix Winter died when Ilse was 13 years old.
A spirited young woman, Ilse left school in 1928 when she was just sixteen – much to her mother’s dismay – and was admitted to the Max-Reinhardt-Seminar at the Deutsches Theater shortly thereafter. After training as an actress, she performed on various stages in Breslau and Berlin, including the famed Theater am Schiffbauerdamm (today’s Berliner Ensemble) and at the chamber theatre of the Deutsches Theater. Her first career highlight was a role in the film Mädchen in Uniform (Girls in Uniform) from 1931.
Ilse Winter moved in artistic circles and counted the writer Walter Mehring, actor and director Fritz Kortner and Felix Gasbarra – the lead dramaturge at Piscator’s theatre – among her friends. After learning of the Reichstag fire during a tour of the Netherlands in early 1933, she decided not to return to Berlin. In 1934, she moved to Paris, where she lived with Walter Mehring. In 1937, she relocated to Basel. As an emigrant, she was unable to practice her profession and enrolled instead at the university.
She received a flood of letters from her mother in Berlin, who clung to her daughter with growing desperation. Ilse wanted to help, but she reacted hesitantly and was unable to arrange her mother’s flight to Switzerland until early 1942. Ilse’s bid to save her mother failed, and Marie Winter was deported ‘to the East’ and murdered.
In August 1943, Ilse Winter married Alfred Heim, a Swiss Jew whom her mother had previously urged her to marry. After the war, Ilse Winter-Heim became a journalist. In 1950, her son Gabriel Felix was born.
She died in Zurich in 1999.